


Without You

by Lizphills500



Series: Steve and Loki Through Chris [6]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Chris de Burgh (Musician), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Hurt Loki, M/M, Odin's Good Parenting, Protective Thor, Song Inspired, Thor Is a Good Bro
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-22
Updated: 2015-11-22
Packaged: 2018-05-02 13:17:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5249561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lizphills500/pseuds/Lizphills500
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thor goes to see Loki two weeks after his break-up with Steve.  it's not good.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Without You

**Author's Note:**

> Part 6 of my music inspired series. Lyrics at the beginning.
> 
> Please read all other parts first.
> 
> Ok, 'Without You' isn't an original Chris De Burgh song but he did release it as part of a collection of songs that inspired him in his youth. As it fits with my storyline I'm using it.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BzQnye82fPc

_Without You_

_No I can't forget this evening or your face as you were leaving,_   
_But I guess that's just the way the story goes;_   
_You always smile, but in your eyes,_   
_Your sorrow shows,_   
_Yes, it shows._

_No, I can't forget tomorrow,_   
_When I think of all my sorrow,_   
_Well I had you there and then I let you go;_   
_And now it's only fair that I should let you know,_   
_What you should know._

_I can't live,_   
_If living is without you,_   
_I can't live,_   
_I can't give anymore,_   
_I can't live,_   
_If living is without you,_   
_I can't live,_   
_I can't give anymore._

_No, I can't forget this evening or your face as you were leaving,_   
_But I guess that's just the way the story goes;_   
_You always smile, but in your eyes,_   
_Your sorrow shows,_   
_Yes, it shows;_

_I can't live,_   
_If living is without you,_   
_I can't live,_   
_I can't give anymore,_   
_I can't live,_   
_If living is without you,_   
_I can't live,_   
_I can't give anymore._

 

It had been two weeks since Steve had broken up with him and Loki still wasn’t sure what had happened. He knew he had over reacted with the situation with Brock, but Steve had never, ever got that angry before. The girls, of course had been sympathetic and had tried to get Steve to talk to him but he simply refused.

Steve seemed to have done everything he could to cut himself off from Loki. His had blocked his number and social media accounts. His emails went unanswered and he stopped visiting Jane at her house just in case Loki was there. Loki had considered going to see Steve at work, but Nat was strongly against that as it could embarrass both of them if Steve blew up.

Loki was lost. Even though they had only been together for 7 months, Loki had started to look to a long future for the pair of them. He had been looking at apartments and houses in the neighbourhood where Steve lived, even though he could afford to live in much more expensive areas of the city. He knew that Steve hated the studio apartment and would be uncomfortable moving out from the house. So Loki wanted to find something close so when they were ready to move in together, Steve could still be close to the girls.

He couldn’t sleep either. Every time he closed his eyes, the evening replayed in his mind. The fight, the look of hurt and betrayal in Steve eyes and Steve storming away from him. He felt he was cursed to relive it over and over again.

 

Now once again he was drifting uncertainly through his life. The first few days he couldn’t face going to work. When he did go back, he was making mistakes and Odin had had to step in before they lost a major contract. He ordered Loki home, yelling at him that he wasn’t fit to work. He had come to the apartment later that evening. He told Loki that while he could understand why he was all over the place, the office was no place for him until he had his head straight.

Odin had never seen Loki like this. Thor had drifted from girl to girl falling in love every other week. That Jane had lasted 6 months had been a surprise to their Father. Odin still couldn’t believe that they had actually gotten married. Loki was different. He had only had one other real relationship to Odin’s knowledge and it had ended cleanly without regret on either side. This time Loki looked like his heart was broken and Odin was furious at Steve for not at least telling his son what he had done wrong.

Odin wanted Loki to come home to live with him and Frigga for a few weeks, but as he expected, Loki refused, wanting to remain in his apartment. So he gave Loki 2 weeks leave. Something that he said had been long overdue anyway. That had been a week ago and all Loki had done was try and figure what the hell had gone wrong.

 

There was a knock on the door. Loki wanted to tell them to piss off, to leave him alone to brood. The knock was there again. Sighing, Loki went to the door and flung it open. Thor was stunned at Loki appearance. His hair was a mess, there were dark shadows around his eyes and he was wearing only a pair of tracksuit bottoms. Loki was always careful with his dress, even at home.

“What do you want, Thor? I’m busy.” Loki said not unkindly, but not welcoming either.

“Doing what? It must be really important as you are not answering your phone. I’ve call, mum’s called and so has Jane and the girls.” Thor pushed passed his brother in the apartment. The room was a mess. There were takeaway cartons everywhere and clothes all over the bedroom space.

“What I’m doing is none of your business and now you know I’m alive, goodbye.” Loki still held the door open.

“Loki. You really love him, don’t you?” Thor said softly. He pulled Loki from the door, closing it and guided him to the couch.

“No. I don’t love him, I may have, but now he’s gone and that’s that.” Loki still let himself be led, something he would never let Thor do if he was thinking straight.

Thor shook his head. “Ok so you’ve turn your perfect apartment into a pig pen, to do what? Increase its market value? Come on, I know you better than that. You need to talk to me.”

Loki really tried to tell Thor he was wrong, that Steve meant nothing it him now, that he simply couldn’t be bothered to clean up. He tried and failed. The tears slipped down his cheeks and he buried his face in hands. Thor wrapped his arm around his shoulder and held him like they had done when they were kids.

“I know I was wrong, I know I must have hurt him, but why won’t he talk to me? I’ve begged him to let me explain, to let me say I’m sorry. That’s all I really want, to tell him that I’m sorry.” Loki said between the sobs.

“I would tell you if I could, but I’m at a loss. There is more to this than anyone is telling me, but Jane refuses to break Steve’s trust even for me. We….we have had words.”

“No, no, no. Now I’m causing trouble between you and Jane. I should never have come back. I should have stayed in Europe or Japan.” Loki tried to pull away, but Thor wouldn’t let him.

“Me and Jane are fine. Stop blaming yourself for everything. This is not all on you. Yes you were an idiot with the way you handled it, but he’s not innocent. I still don’t buy the fact that he doesn’t know Brock had a picture of them kissing or why he flew off the handle like that.” Thor found some clean napkins and handed them to Loki to dry his eyes.

“I know it was only 7 months, but I’m not sure if I can do this Thor. I love him so much, he was everything I ever really wanted, and it was love at first sight. It sounds so corny, but it was and I’m sure he felt the same. Now all I see when I think of him is the look of complete betrayal on his face. I don’t know if I can live without him.”

Thor had never heard Loki talk some much about his feelings in his life before. He knew that Loki kept his emotions close and if he had fallen for Steve this hard. it just made everything that much worse for him.

“Loki you need to get away from here for a while. Not abroad but there’s this conference dad wanted me to go to. Its next week in New Orleans, something about innervations in something I can't remember. I’m sure dad would agree for you to go instead and you can take some more time off there afterwards if you needed to.”

Loki raised an eyebrow. “Thor, are you trying to dodge work again?”

“How dare you.” Thor said in mock disgust “I am simply trying to help my baby brother get over a dick of an ex-boyfriend and if it means avoiding going to a mind-numbingly boring conference, then so be it.”

Loki laughed for the first time in weeks. He wasn’t stupid. Thor hated design conferences, but he also knew that Thor would never have suggested Loki taking his place if he didn’t think it would help in some way. Doing something that required him to listen and not think too much was probably just what he needed anyway.

“Ok, I’ll go. When do I need to leave?” Loki said in mock resignation.

“Tuesday till Friday. Which gives us time to clean up this mess or will you get a service in to do it?” Thor asked, slightly hopeful as he realised he had just offered to help.

“I don’t let just anyone riffle through my things, you know that. Don’t worry I’ve got some rubber gloves here somewhere you can use.” Loki stood up and headed to the kitchenette.

Thor groaned, but got up to follow, happy at least that he got Loki moving again. Steve had a lot to answer for and Thor would protect his brother no matter what.


End file.
